I'm no "mom-ographer"

Or at least that's what I tell myself.  I am a photographer, and a mother.  But I was a photographer first.  I chose that dream waaaay before a child, before marriage, before nearly any adult decision.  It's been a passion of mine since 7th grade.  I  was an artist, damn it.

An artsy self-portrait I made shortly after graduating college.

Then came this squish, this little being that needs me 24/7, helpless and yet so powerful.  And everything changed, like it's supposed to. But I had no warning how humbling this change would be.

The squish, aka Sebastian, about 2 weeks old.

My fears first struck me  in pregnancy.  I was terrified of losing my identity.  I knew my life would revolve around this new little person and I was scared that everything else I cared for would get left behind.

Preggers me and the hubs.  Photo courtesy of Carolyn Bistline 2012

It's true that some things are given less care, but for the most part, I've traded up.  I've also realized I wasn't losing my identity, I was adding to it.  And although my priorities have changed, who I am hasn't.  That's been a big relief.

It helps a photographer to have a child that is photogenic.

I still struggle with managing what I want from a career, and what I want as a parent.  But I've come to realize that the easy path isn't necessarily the path that leads to happiness.

-Stefanie